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Wednesday, June 3, 2026

How to be Put to Severe Testing: "He Feared God and Shunned Evil"


Not everyone is chosen for this. Most people are chosen to be rich, successful or placed in high position or in leadership. Many more are chosen to make lots of money. But very few are chosen to be tested as Job was tested. And you qualify for the test only if you fear God and shun evil.

When God sees someone seriously fearing God and shunning evil, he chooses him for testing, not to see whether he (or she) genuinely fears God and hates evil, but to brag about him to the enemy. The Book of Job lets us a peek into the happenings in the spirit realm, particularly the nature of spiritual warfare. It's not really a God versus Satan scenario but a Satan versus genuine men of God.

There cannot be a GOD versus Satan feud, because no one is God's equal to be honored the place as an equal "versus" God. "Versus" means equal forces warring each other. Satan is not an equal force against God. He is no match to GOD. So what we see in the Book of Job is a "presentation" of spirit beings before God, sort of reporting for duty, not a war preparation. And Satan was among those who "came to present themselves before God."

And here we see the devil roaming around the earth, "going back and forth," seeking whom he may devour. And because Job genuinely feared God and shunned evil, God bragged about him to Satan. 

“Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

You see that divine pride on a particular man of God? That's divine promotion. It's a powerful blessing to be favored with such fondness by no less than the Lord himself, saying it to Satan in person. Like, "He is my favorite!" We're used to calling anyone "man of God," just because he is seen active in ministry or in church leadership. We fail to grasp what the term realy is.

A genuine man of God is one whom God boasts of to the enemy. And we see how grave the consequence is when you're God's favorite, when he finds you genuinely fearing God and shunning evil. It's a terrible thing to fall into the hands of an angry God, but it's also terrifying to be in his favor.

You want God's favor? Are you ready to be bragged off to Satan? 

It's a different thing to face some hardships now and then. That's normal and ordinary. Suffering a lot and being misunderstood for them---even seen as a stubborn, unteachable sinner---is a different thing altogether. People sympathize and pity you when you simply suffer some things, they even pray for you and help you. But when you're God's favorite being put to the test, you will be grossly misunderstood, rejected, judged and condemned, and hated, first of all, by friends and family.

If someone seems God-fearing and denouncing sin but is never put to severe testing that makes him suffer terribly and gets misunderstood and rejected by those close to him, he is either up for the testing very soon, or he just seems God-fearing and hating sin. If you're up for severe and cruel testing, brace yourself, go closer to God and spend more time with him. He alone will be your strength during those times when you'd feel abandoned and "punished" by God. But remember that such testing is actually promotion in the spirit realm, a higher level that no one in the worldly "Christian" church can ever understand or appreciate. 

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Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Job's Prosperity in Suffering


Job was already greatly blessed prior to his great faith test. He was blessed spiritually and financially, had a blessed family. He was described as blameless. If we were the story writer, right there and then we'd say, "And they lived happily ever after." Humanly speaking, there was no reason for a tragic, negative turnabout because obviously Job pleased God. 

Picture source.

You'd be absolutely safe if you pleased God. That's what they say. That's what they preach in church. Something like, if you're faithful with your tithes and offering, God will rebuke the devourer. You'd be safe. You'd be well provided. You'd prosper.

But we find a different thing in Job. Faithful, blameless and all, his whole life changed for the worst. He lost everything, even his children. Often, we just read past this portion like it was nothing, like it was the most natural thing in the world to happen, losing your children. But if you meditate on it and put yourself in his shoe, it was probably the most painful thing that happened to Job. His children killed by a freak disaster. 

Reading it this far, we see only Job's tragedy, his tragic loss. But after we read the whole book, we realize his blessedness. He was actually being prospered by God when the bad things were happening. If you are chosen as an exhibit that God brags about to Satan, what do you call that? Curse? No, you call that honor. 

God's actually proud of you. And what do you think happens when he's proud of you? You think he just blesses you? No, he gives you unusual favor, one that the worldly always mistakes for misfortune. He prospers you with brokenness.

How do you define prosperity? It's when God's blessing on you is sovereign. Prosperity from God given to his favorite servant is not merely material wealth, but holistic and flourishing abundance—more than money, possessions, positions, physical health, family, and everything the world sees and values as crucial. It represents God's sovereign blessing upon an individual's faithfulness, which can be sustained, but which is first tested and refined, and then ultimately restored by God's grace.

During his sufferings Job was actually being "prospered."

It's hard to comprehend when we're so accustomed to realities confined to this world and programmed to think in terms of favor equals material rewards. When you're good and behaving properly, you are rewarded. If you're having a tough time---especially suffering lack and continuously at that---you're most likely doing something wrong and displeasing God. That's the idea today. It was the mindset of Job's three friends, and God later said they were dead wrong.

We need to understand more deeply how Jesus was born in a poor town and born to poor parents and later suffered rejection and crucifixion, crying, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" and yet earlier was declared to be the Father's "beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." 

We need to re-define how we see and understand true prosperity from God. We need to discern who really is favored and being prospered, proving that the Kingdom of God is within you.


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Monday, June 1, 2026

My Son's Problem Now


I'm always, always hoping that with prayers my problems will lessen, if not disappear. Instead, they increased. Now my son has enlarged goiter and the doctor says it needs biopsy to see if it's cancerous or not. We're praying it's not. My son complains of pains in the neck and weakening of his body. His health also seems to fail because he gets fevers sometimes.

Picture above by Chunry.

I was hoping that the problems would diminish with prayers and petitions and intercessions for my son. It didn't. Everything is just plain frustration. Why pray when no answer seems coming. I have been praying for my two sons, that they become genuinely born again and become deep in the Word and in their experience of God and serve him. I've been praying since they were babies, and have been doing it daily. As they grew up I prayed for them and excited to see them know the Lord. I was hoping that what God did to me and my wife would be multiplied 10 times in our sons.

Nothing like that happened, and they're now young adults. My oldest son, the one with enlarged goiter, is now 30 and my younger is 24, yet in college with 4 subjects left prior to graduating. They still have no heart for the Lord or his Word. My oldest son's two baby daughters also often get sick. This is why he keeps losing his job. When his babies get sick he has to skip work and take care of them, often lose sleep doing it, and feel weakened the next day. His live-in partner supposedly has heart disease and cannot work or take care of their babies alone by herself. As a result, we often have to help financially, but we're unable.

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I have often urged them to get married, and my son likes the idea, but they do not have money even for a simply wedding officiated by a judge for lesser expense. I also suggested a wedding done by a pastor-friend of mine to further lessen the cost. But we don't have money even for that. We're broke, and I wonder why God's promises on provisions in the bible, which I seriously believe, aren't working for us. 

My wife and I literally live now on handouts from people around. We're given some groceries now and then and make that last until another bunch of groceries are given us. We look for things to sell and get our cash from that, particularly for paying bills. I try to sell health products online (been doing it for years now) but sales are down. I mean, I made only 2 sales, I think. I keep promoting on FB daily, but organic traffic is unreliable I cannot use FB ads or boosts because my FB account is perpetually banned from ads. A long time ago, when I was new to FB ads, I did a lot of errors FB didn't like. 

So, I'm really almost out of options.

Thank God my wife is employed as a school nurse at a grade school a walking distance from us, and it's really a big blessing. Thank GOD for it. We really prayed hard about it and God granted it to her. However, her pay is not enough for us because we pay our big debts gradually which makes her monthly pay almost null. I really have to make money, but being 66, no one will hire me here in Manila, and my only chance is to find a way to make money online.

I love meditating on God's Word and spending quiet times with him. I love it when I see his promises in the bible---and I believe the all---but the thing is, I want to experience them. Where are his promises? He says, I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Where is that? How come I have never had that, and I'm 66. I was born again in 1980 and entered full-time pastorate in 1997. 

Nothing.

I thank GOD for the blessings that trickle down to us, but what I want to experience is the plan to prosper me, give me hope and a future. The abundant life he promised. 

Friday, February 20, 2026

It Pains Me So Much to See My Son Like That


Up to this time, a lot of my prayers have not been answered, though I believe God, in his faithfulness, is at work and will soon provide me and my family rescue. But when, Lord? We so badly need financial rescue to pay off our debts incurred by my eldest son's problems--and he's still threatening to commit suicide in his desperation. 

The total debt is almost half a million pesos now from different persons. Two private hospitals are after him because he did something dishonestly when he had his girlfriend confined in them, saying he had money to pay when he didn't. 

You know how it feels when you're supposed to be a servant of God but your son has been living a wrong life and is suicidal? All these though you've been praying for your sons since they were born, praying for them almost everyday, that one day they'd surrender their lives to Jesus, live righteously, and serve the LORD. But it feels like God didn't hear me. 


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Feeling that God does not hear your prayers—or worse, that He hears but remains silent—can be one of the deepest pains of faith. It is especially heavy when you're overwhelmed by debt, crying out for rescue, yet seeing no visible answer. The heart wrestles with questions: Where is the prosperity promised? Where is the deliverance? This silence can feel like abandonment, even though you still believe in Christ and cling to His promises.

Bible passages give me a lot of comfort, especially when it shows men of God similarly situated. Job cried out in his suffering, saying, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me” (Job 30:20). David lamented, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1). Even Habakkuk questioned, “How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” (Habakkuk 1:2). These voices echo the anguish of unanswered prayers, showing that even the faithful wrestled with God’s silence.

But sometimes I wonder with deep brokenness why this has to be so. It hurts so much to see my son like that, lost and without hope, a stranger to the Lord. It pains me deeply. I prayed a lot that he would turn out to be a man of God. But now, this. 

Yet, bible stories also remind us that silence does not mean absence. Job, despite his despair, declared, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” (Job 13:15). David, after pouring out his lament, ended with trust: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5). Habakkuk, though he saw no immediate rescue, resolved, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:18).

The pain of waiting is real, but worship in the waiting is powerful. God’s faithfulness is not measured by immediate answers but by His eternal promises. Even when rescue seems delayed, it is better to trust Him, for He is the God who hears, who remembers, and who, in His time, delivers.

Tuesday, January 27, 2026

Blessings and Lack Reveal Our Heart


A year has passed since my last entry here, and still our son's woes go on, and seem to even have worsened. He still has no job, though he tried several times to apply, but the training cost was too much (specifically the fare which was P1,500 per night) so he ended up skipping some trainings and getting kicked out. 

Worse is that two medical centers are after him for failure to pay for hospital bills when his GF delivered, one baby after another, almost just one year in-between. He said he did that for fear of being neglected in public hospitals or other private hospitals. So he opted to put his GF in renowned medical centers, which was foolish, of course. But it's been done and now they're after him. 

But he's willing to pay if given a chance to work and pay off the debts in installments he can afford. But the sad thing is, he finds it hard to be employed. His sad, problematic story goes on and my wife and I are so affected by it all. My wife especially. She bears the brunt of stress and pressure trying to look for money to borrow for our son. I keep telling her she should stop, but the heart of a mother seeing his son and grandchildren suffer cannot bear the situation. She sometimes suffers HBP because of it, and it's what worries me. So I'd give in. 

I keep asking the Lord to end this epsisode because my wife and I are very tired of it. I believe with all my heart that God can turn things around in an instant and make everything work out right. He can so easily touch my son's heart so he'd be drawn to Jesus, repent, and be genuinely born again. Is not that the work of the Holy Spirit? God can also quickly rescue my son (and us) from our financial woes and move things so that my son gets a good job or livelihoond and be able to pay all his debts. GOD can easily do all these things. 

I'm wondering why HE isn't. 

I now for a fact that it's HIS will that my son gets saved and born again and pay off all his debts and prosper. Without a doubt, I know it's HIS will. But why isn't HE doing it? Why does it seems that HE's just watching everything and doing nothing? Timing? Isn't this the perfect time to rescue us all? 

Now, as a result, I'm planning on stopping my pastorate for a while (or maybe permanently) because my testimony is ruined. It hurts me so much to see my son being like that and becoming rebellious. I know it's all his fault, but aren't we all prone to foolishness and stupidity and sometimes, rebelliousness, especially when we can't understand what's happening and how things are the result of our mistakes?

I see a lot of people around, even church people, doing lots of mistakes and foolishness and rebelliousness (that they're not aware of) but still being blessed by God tremendously. All blessings are by grace and the mercy of God, and not credited to any good work or correct performace. There's no such thing as "correct" performance in God's eyes. Only what Jesus did and does through His obedient servants are correct in God's eyes. And a lot of us (even active church people and those who "plant" many churches) are often guilty of disobedience and falling short of what God expects. But God still blesses many of us, more than usual, only because of his grace and mercy. 

Why does God bless them with more than is necessary? Because HE tests their hearts. God keeps testing our hearts. He tests those He gives more than enough, to make them see where their hearts are when it comes to giving up everything they have and giving to the poor. He also tests the hearts of the poor to make them see how far their faith can go even with the temporary lack. 

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Monday, March 3, 2025

Christ Died for Us While We Were Evil and Rebellious

Christ Died for Us While We Were Evil and Rebellious, Not When We Were Good---and We Always Forget That.

They all want us to renounce our eldest son for all he did---living in with his GF who has lots of tatoo on her body, borrowed a lot of our money without paying for them so far, and asking his mom to take loans online for him amounting to hundreds of thousands of pesos. I told my wife to stop the help (though I love our son), and she did, but she felt bad leaving our son without any help because everyone's rejected him. I mean everyone, even our siblings and relatives. His GF's relatives don't care one bit and she's an orphan and can't work due to her heart ailment. 

And seeing her son getting no help whatsoever from anyone, my wife sometimes has highblood pressure seeing him suffer, especially at times our son calls us up and cries and says he can no longer endure it and would give up. So I let her help to make her feel better. But the loans keep increasing. And everyone gets pissed off by that---our loans for our son and him wasting it all for over a year now. They all tell us to spurn our son and disown him as family. And these are Christians who profess to love GOD.

Our son did a lot of stupid mistakes, I admit it (still does them), and I always scold him each time, telling him what he should do, with reminders about GOD and His Word. He listens and sometimes obeys but he's also stubborn. He's a good guy, actually, and I'm not saying that just because he's my son. But he grew up with us all the time (so I know hm well) until he met his tatooed GF. Then everything went haywire. 

He's still good and respectfully, soft-spoken and tends to rescue the weak and bullied. He's been like that since grade school (he's 29 this March). But he has a lot of wrong ideas about how to earn money and he wastes money doing businesses that fail. Plus wastes money on expenses to please his tatooed GF. He's prodigal. That's his sin. He's not into drugs, vices, liquor, women, gambling, etc. And because of his sin they want us to punish him with banishment. They forget that all of us were worse when Christ blessed us with grace. 

Christ died for us while we were yet sinners. 

HE died for us while we were yet rebellious, evil, GOD haters, stubborn, greedy, selfish, and worshiped money, to mention a few. And yet, while we were like this, Jesus died for us. While we did everything GOD hated, GOD blessed us with the most important blessing of all---HIS SON. GOD never thought of abandoning us or stopping his blessings to us. While evil, he still blessed us with our jobs, job promotions, education, food, good times, vacations, and everything else (God's general blessings to both the righteous and the wicked), not to mention oxygen, sunlight, rain and the seasons. He gave us all these while we were not yet Jesus followers and soaking in stupid wickedness. 

I find it ridiculous how so many religious people won't help people in need unless the needy pass their religious moral standards. Thank GOD he didn't do that to us. He blesses us regardless of the condition of our hearts or whether we pass GOD's moral standards or not. Thank GOD he doesn't stop blessing us just because he doesn't like what we're doing. In fact, even after being born again, we still do a lot of stupid wrongs (especially in the bad ways we think of others). But GOD still blesses us anyway. If we are unfaithful with giving, for instance, he may withdraw some blessings but still blesses us with some needs, though in scant amounts. God still keeps us alive, and that's a blessing. 

See the prodigal son? That son grew up with the father and the father knew his son's character. Yet, when the son asked for his inheritance, the father gave it. He didn't withhold it because of his son's tendency for wasteful spending and wrong living. And he never disowned, rejected or renounced his son. It was the son who left home of his own freewill. And when he came back, the father welcomed him. How many times must we forgive the guy who sins against us? Jesus said not seven but seventy times seven, or infinitely. As long as the person goes back to ask our pardon, we give it to him---and even prepare a feast for the offender. That's what the father did. 

Now, these Christians who are angry at our son and tells us to disown him and stop helping him. I don't know where they got the idea. For sure, it's not GOD's parenting principle. 

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Thursday, December 19, 2024

Debts and Possibilities


So here I am, struggling financially, especially with loans we have to pay, loans incurred by my eldest son's martial adventurism. He got his first girlfriend (GF) pregnant when he was in third year high school (he was 17 and her first GF was 15), going good for some years but eventually they did not work out. Then he got his second GF pregnant and this GF is supposed to be unable whatsoever to be employed due to her heart problem and because she has no valid ID. So my son alone has a job and I'm not really sure if he has one. Everything about him is strange.

But I still hope with my lil book, GOD's Word, like in the iage above. 

Our loan is somewhere in the amount of half a million pesos, maybe less, and we're hoping my eldest son would come up with the sum. I don't know how, but I hope in GOD that HE will make a way, although my son is not yet fully surrendered to HIM. At least I hope GOD will make a way for me and my wife. I've been a church pastor for decades (recent decades pastoring a small house church), suffering persecutions for HIS Name, and my wife has been in ministry since teenage years helping out with her parents' church ministries. Not that favor is by works or achievements, but I hope HIS grace would consider what we have dedicated to HIM. 

"Look, we have left everything and followed you" says Peter. Jesus responds, "I tell you the truth, all those who have left houses, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, or farms for me and for the Good News will get more than they left". [Mark 10.28]

I have been praying and patiently waiting for "will get more than they left" for decades, but nothing has been "more than they left." I mean, we're in big debt and our small house is dilapidated and we short of beg for money from people. This is not my idea of abundant life. I love to experience getting sufficient supplies (or a bit more sufficient) direct from the hand of GOD so our indebtedness to people can stop. And if we'd check this out with Scriptures, this is how it's supposed to be--that we have no indebtedness to anyone except GOD, all our needs being supplied directly and personally by HIM. 

And there are channels ready if HE wants to prosper me. I have finished a lot of spiritual and inspirational (self-improvement) ebooks I am selling online. HE can easily make that online business sell continually, residually, and bring me more than enough money (more than enough so I can help others financially as well). And there's also our one-hectar ancestral land my clan is selling in Bulacan. If GOD works that out, it can provide us enough money to repay our debts and start a small business that I pray GOD will prosper. Then there's Jun's land deals (Jun is a Jesus disciple in my care) in Palawan which GOD can prosper, if HE wants to, so Jun can be blessed financially and be able to give money support to me which he volunteered. 

All this is in GOD's hand and decision. Everything depends on HIM. HIS Word taught me the extent and power of HIS sovereignty that covers every single event, transaction or anything in this world. Nothing happens without HIS approval. Even the devil cannot do anything without HIS approval. We are accountable for what we decide and do, and yet it all depends on GOD. 

BTW, if anyone is interested in buying my ebook on Job's sufferings, "Suffering as GOD's Favorite," just email me at liljob.me@gmail.com and I'll send you the PDF download and the means of payment. 

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