Why Have You Forsaken Me?

For years I have been wondering about this passage. Why was Jesus abandoned and even shouted it in public to let everyone know how he felt? Wouldn't that be bad publicity? He could've just kept it in secret, suffering quietly, since he had the self-control and self-discipline to do so. 

Picture above by Der_ Hördt.

But now the world knows that he felt abandoned, left alone on the cross and at the point of death, shouting defeat blatantly in public. Now we know that God can actually do it, forsake someone, even in the absence of guilt. It's scary to think that it can happen. If it happened to Jesus, the Son of God, how much more to us?

When Jesus hung upon the cross and uttered the anguished words, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46), he revealed not just the depth of His suffering but the pain of abandonment, being left to die in shame. This cry was not a loss of faith, but the raw expression of a soul bearing the full weight of sin and separation. At that moment, Jesus entered into the darkest valley of human experience, identifying with every person who has ever felt forsaken, alone, or overwhelmed by despair. You know the feeling of desperately hoping but getting nothing?

The cry echoes Psalm 22:1, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This psalm, written centuries earlier, prophetically foreshadows the suffering of the Messiah. By invoking it, Jesus was not only expressing his agony but also pointing to the fulfillment of Scripture. The fulfillment of suffering. Psalm 22 continues with vivid descriptions of pierced hands and mocked suffering, reminding us that His pain was foretold and purposeful.

I stand aside and wonder about knowing beforehand what terrible things you will suffer. How were you supposed to live life with that foreknowledge? I think Jesus had played with the idea that suffering could be scratched from the plan of salvation and simply be decided with an edict. Just save and snatch them from hell. "If it's possible, let this cup pass from me." Can we just skip this part?

To me, the whole crucifixion episode shows how it's possible to be left abandoned, in deep despair and disappointment, and with God seemingly nonchalant about it all. And there's no clear explanation why, leaving you in the dark and utter confusion. Probably like how Job must have felt, lost, alone and misunderstood. In Jesus' case, he was left to suffer and die. No rescue happened though he is the Son of God. In Job's case, rescue did happen, but after a long bout with suffering that seemed uncalled for and senseless. The question remains---what for?

Why did Jesus have to suffer? Many would quickly answer---because our salvation and redemption required his blood being shed for our sins. I know. But still, why? Because all things are possible to him, God could have just decided to grant us salvation through Jesus minus the cross. Just say the word. And we'd just repent and believe Jesus. That ought to do it. That wouldn't have been impossible for God to decide and do. Anything he decides and says goes.

Isaiah 46.10: I say, 'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'

But he decided that suffering should accompany everything that he sees real value in before he grants it to us, although it's all by grace when we do receive it, not of works or hardships. It's all a gift from God. And Jesus showed that what's given by grace and mercy always comes with suffering, not as payment, but a way of subduing the flesh which is apt to misusing God's gifts.

From the Old Testament, we see several passages that lend us insights into his sufferings:

1. Psalm 22:1 – “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This verse is the direct source of Jesus’ cry, showing that His suffering was part of God’s redemptive plan. It reminds us that even in abandonment, Scripture holds the promise of ultimate vindication.

2. Isaiah 53:4–5 – “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering… he was pierced for our transgressions.” Isaiah’s prophecy reveals that Jesus’ sense of abandonment was not for His own sins, but for ours. He bore the crushing silence of heaven so that we might never be truly forsaken.

3. Lamentations 1:12 – “Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Look and see if there is any suffering like my suffering.” This lament captures the uniqueness of Christ’s agony. his suffering was unparalleled, for he carried the burden of the world’s sin.

4. Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and courageous… for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” This promise seems to stand in tension with Jesus’ cry. Yet in that tension lies the mystery: Jesus experienced forsakenness so that we could be assured of God’s abiding presence.

These things Jesus underwent, leaving us an example, that we should follow in his footsteps. We do not suffer and shed blood to save people from sin and cleanse them of iniquity, but we sometimes suffer for their spiritual benefit. It's why martyrs are killed for their faith. It's why ordinary believers like us are often persecuted and mocked by nonbelievers. Although I believe all these could be circumvented if God wills it, but for some mysterious reasons he designed suffering to go hand in hand with a healthy spiritual life. I accept it, but I still wonder why.

In devotional reflection, we see that Jesus’ cry was both deeply human and profoundly divine. As a man, he felt the crushing loneliness of abandonment. As the Son of God, he bore the separation that sin creates between humanity and the Father. His cry was the sound of love stretched to its breaking point, love that would not turn away even when it meant enduring silence from heaven.

Maybe, God wants to see the same results accomplished in us, by his grace and the power of the Holy Spirit in us, for Jesus lives in us 100 percent.

For us, this moment is a source of comfort. When we feel abandoned, we can know that Jesus has walked this path before us. He understands the silence, the unanswered prayers, the seeming and disturbing silence of God, the weight of despair. Yet His cry was not the end of the story. Psalm 22 moves from lament to praise: “You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen. I will declare your name to my people.” (Psalm 22:21–22). The cross leads to resurrection, and abandonment gives way to restoration.

Jesus may have died on the cross without any rescue from heaven, but the promise above assures us of a different ending. After all, we are not the Savior. We're not the only begotten Son destined before the creation of the world to die and save those who will believe.

But still, it's scary and makes me think about it all. But it also makes me seek refuge deep into the shadow of the almighty. To find peace that surpasses understanding in his secret place.

In prayer, we can approach the cross with honesty. We can bring our own cries of “Why, Lord?” knowing that Jesus Himself prayed such words. And we can trust that just as the Father did not ultimately abandon the Son, He will not abandon us. The cry of forsakenness becomes the assurance of eternal presence.

Thus, Jesus’ words on the cross are not only a window into His suffering but also a doorway into our hope. He was abandoned so that we might be embraced. He cried out in despair so that we might sing in joy. His silence from heaven secured for us the eternal promise: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

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How to be Put to Severe Testing: "He Feared God and Shunned Evil"

Not everyone is chosen for this. Most people are chosen to be rich, successful or placed in high position or in leadership. Many more are chosen to make lots of money. But very few are chosen to be tested as Job was tested. And you qualify for the test only if you fear God and shun evil.

When God sees someone seriously fearing God and shunning evil, he chooses him for testing, not to see whether he (or she) genuinely fears God and hates evil, but to brag about him to the enemy. The Book of Job lets us a peek into the happenings in the spirit realm, particularly the nature of spiritual warfare. It's not really a God versus Satan scenario but a Satan versus genuine men of God.

There cannot be a GOD versus Satan feud, because no one is God's equal to be honored the place as an equal "versus" God. "Versus" means equal forces warring each other. Satan is not an equal force against God. He is no match to GOD. So what we see in the Book of Job is a "presentation" of spirit beings before God, sort of reporting for duty, not a war preparation. And Satan was among those who "came to present themselves before God."

And here we see the devil roaming around the earth, "going back and forth," seeking whom he may devour. And because Job genuinely feared God and shunned evil, God bragged about him to Satan. 

“Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

You see that divine pride on a particular man of God? That's divine promotion. It's a powerful blessing to be favored with such fondness by no less than the Lord himself, saying it to Satan in person. Like, "He is my favorite!" We're used to calling anyone "man of God," just because he is seen active in ministry or in church leadership. We fail to grasp what the term realy is.

A genuine man of God is one whom God boasts of to the enemy. And we see how grave the consequence is when you're God's favorite, when he finds you genuinely fearing God and shunning evil. It's a terrible thing to fall into the hands of an angry God, but it's also terrifying to be in his favor.

You want God's favor? Are you ready to be bragged off to Satan? 

It's a different thing to face some hardships now and then. That's normal and ordinary. Suffering a lot and being misunderstood for them---even seen as a stubborn, unteachable sinner---is a different thing altogether. People sympathize and pity you when you simply suffer some things, they even pray for you and help you. But when you're God's favorite being put to the test, you will be grossly misunderstood, rejected, judged and condemned, and hated, first of all, by friends and family.

If someone seems God-fearing and denouncing sin but is never put to severe testing that makes him suffer terribly and gets misunderstood and rejected by those close to him, he is either up for the testing very soon, or he just seems God-fearing and hating sin. If you're up for severe and cruel testing, brace yourself, go closer to God and spend more time with him. He alone will be your strength during those times when you'd feel abandoned and "punished" by God. But remember that such testing is actually promotion in the spirit realm, a higher level that no one in the worldly "Christian" church can ever understand or appreciate. 

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Job's Prosperity in Suffering

Job was already greatly blessed prior to his great faith test. He was blessed spiritually and financially, had a blessed family. He was described as blameless. If we were the story writer, right there and then we'd say, "And they lived happily ever after." Humanly speaking, there was no reason for a tragic, negative turnabout because obviously Job pleased God. 

Picture source.

You'd be absolutely safe if you pleased God. That's what they say. That's what they preach in church. Something like, if you're faithful with your tithes and offering, God will rebuke the devourer. You'd be safe. You'd be well provided. You'd prosper.

But we find a different thing in Job. Faithful, blameless and all, his whole life changed for the worst. He lost everything, even his children. Often, we just read past this portion like it was nothing, like it was the most natural thing in the world to happen, losing your children. But if you meditate on it and put yourself in his shoe, it was probably the most painful thing that happened to Job. His children killed by a freak disaster. 

Reading it this far, we see only Job's tragedy, his tragic loss. But after we read the whole book, we realize his blessedness. He was actually being prospered by God when the bad things were happening. If you are chosen as an exhibit that God brags about to Satan, what do you call that? Curse? No, you call that honor. 

God's actually proud of you. And what do you think happens when he's proud of you? You think he just blesses you? No, he gives you unusual favor, one that the worldly always mistakes for misfortune. He prospers you with brokenness.

How do you define prosperity? It's when God's blessing on you is sovereign. Prosperity from God given to his favorite servant is not merely material wealth, but holistic and flourishing abundance—more than money, possessions, positions, physical health, family, and everything the world sees and values as crucial. It represents God's sovereign blessing upon an individual's faithfulness, which can be sustained, but which is first tested and refined, and then ultimately restored by God's grace.

During his sufferings Job was actually being "prospered."

It's hard to comprehend when we're so accustomed to realities confined to this world and programmed to think in terms of favor equals material rewards. When you're good and behaving properly, you are rewarded. If you're having a tough time---especially suffering lack and continuously at that---you're most likely doing something wrong and displeasing God. That's the idea today. It was the mindset of Job's three friends, and God later said they were dead wrong.

We need to understand more deeply how Jesus was born in a poor town and born to poor parents and later suffered rejection and crucifixion, crying, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" and yet earlier was declared to be the Father's "beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." 

We need to re-define how we see and understand true prosperity from God. We need to discern who really is favored and being prospered, proving that the Kingdom of God is within you.

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My Son's Problem Now

I'm always, always hoping that with prayers my problems will lessen, if not disappear. Instead, they increased. Now my son has enlarged goiter and the doctor says it needs biopsy to see if it's cancerous or not. We're praying it's not. My son complains of pains in the neck and weakening of his body. His health also seems to fail because he gets fevers sometimes.

Picture above by Chunry.

I was hoping that the problems would diminish with prayers and petitions and intercessions for my son. It didn't. Everything is just plain frustration. Why pray when no answer seems coming. I have been praying for my two sons, that they become genuinely born again and become deep in the Word and in their experience of God and serve him. I've been praying since they were babies, and have been doing it daily. As they grew up I prayed for them and excited to see them know the Lord. I was hoping that what God did to me and my wife would be multiplied 10 times in our sons.

Nothing like that happened, and they're now young adults. My oldest son, the one with enlarged goiter, is now 30 and my younger is 24, yet in college with 4 subjects left prior to graduating. They still have no heart for the Lord or his Word. My oldest son's two baby daughters also often get sick. This is why he keeps losing his job. When his babies get sick he has to skip work and take care of them, often lose sleep doing it, and feel weakened the next day. His live-in partner supposedly has heart disease and cannot work or take care of their babies alone by herself. As a result, we often have to help financially, but we're unable.

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I have often urged them to get married, and my son likes the idea, but they do not have money even for a simply wedding officiated by a judge for lesser expense. I also suggested a wedding done by a pastor-friend of mine to further lessen the cost. But we don't have money even for that. We're broke, and I wonder why God's promises on provisions in the bible, which I seriously believe, aren't working for us. 

My wife and I literally live now on handouts from people around. We're given some groceries now and then and make that last until another bunch of groceries are given us. We look for things to sell and get our cash from that, particularly for paying bills. I try to sell health products online (been doing it for years now) but sales are down. I mean, I made only 2 sales, I think. I keep promoting on FB daily, but organic traffic is unreliable I cannot use FB ads or boosts because my FB account is perpetually banned from ads. A long time ago, when I was new to FB ads, I did a lot of errors FB didn't like. 

So, I'm really almost out of options.

Thank God my wife is employed as a school nurse at a grade school a walking distance from us, and it's really a big blessing. Thank GOD for it. We really prayed hard about it and God granted it to her. However, her pay is not enough for us because we pay our big debts gradually which makes her monthly pay almost null. I really have to make money, but being 66, no one will hire me here in Manila, and my only chance is to find a way to make money online.

I love meditating on God's Word and spending quiet times with him. I love it when I see his promises in the bible---and I believe the all---but the thing is, I want to experience them. Where are his promises? He says, I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Where is that? How come I have never had that, and I'm 66. I was born again in 1980 and entered full-time pastorate in 1997. 

Nothing.

I thank GOD for the blessings that trickle down to us, but what I want to experience is the plan to prosper me, give me hope and a future. The abundant life he promised. 

It Pains Me So Much to See My Son Like That

Up to this time, a lot of my prayers have not been answered, though I believe God, in his faithfulness, is at work and will soon provide me and my family rescue. But when, Lord? We so badly need financial rescue to pay off our debts incurred by my eldest son's problems--and he's still threatening to commit suicide in his desperation. 

The total debt is almost half a million pesos now from different persons. Two private hospitals are after him because he did something dishonestly when he had his girlfriend confined in them, saying he had money to pay when he didn't. 

You know how it feels when you're supposed to be a servant of God but your son has been living a wrong life and is suicidal? All these though you've been praying for your sons since they were born, praying for them almost everyday, that one day they'd surrender their lives to Jesus, live righteously, and serve the LORD. But it feels like God didn't hear me. 

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Feeling that God does not hear your prayers—or worse, that He hears but remains silent—can be one of the deepest pains of faith. It is especially heavy when you're overwhelmed by debt, crying out for rescue, yet seeing no visible answer. The heart wrestles with questions: Where is the prosperity promised? Where is the deliverance? This silence can feel like abandonment, even though you still believe in Christ and cling to His promises.

Bible passages give me a lot of comfort, especially when it shows men of God similarly situated. Job cried out in his suffering, saying, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me” (Job 30:20). David lamented, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1). Even Habakkuk questioned, “How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” (Habakkuk 1:2). These voices echo the anguish of unanswered prayers, showing that even the faithful wrestled with God’s silence.

But sometimes I wonder with deep brokenness why this has to be so. It hurts so much to see my son like that, lost and without hope, a stranger to the Lord. It pains me deeply. I prayed a lot that he would turn out to be a man of God. But now, this. 

Yet, bible stories also remind us that silence does not mean absence. Job, despite his despair, declared, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” (Job 13:15). David, after pouring out his lament, ended with trust: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5). Habakkuk, though he saw no immediate rescue, resolved, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:18).

The pain of waiting is real, but worship in the waiting is powerful. God’s faithfulness is not measured by immediate answers but by His eternal promises. Even when rescue seems delayed, it is better to trust Him, for He is the God who hears, who remembers, and who, in His time, delivers.

Blessings and Lack Reveal Our Heart

A year has passed since my last entry here, and still our son's woes go on, and seem to even have worsened. He still has no job, though he tried several times to apply, but the training cost was too much (specifically the fare which was P1,500 per night) so he ended up skipping some trainings and getting kicked out. 

Worse is that two medical centers are after him for failure to pay for hospital bills when his GF delivered, one baby after another, almost just one year in-between. He said he did that for fear of being neglected in public hospitals or other private hospitals. So he opted to put his GF in renowned medical centers, which was foolish, of course. But it's been done and now they're after him. 

But he's willing to pay if given a chance to work and pay off the debts in installments he can afford. But the sad thing is, he finds it hard to be employed. His sad, problematic story goes on and my wife and I are so affected by it all. My wife especially. She bears the brunt of stress and pressure trying to look for money to borrow for our son. I keep telling her she should stop, but the heart of a mother seeing his son and grandchildren suffer cannot bear the situation. She sometimes suffers HBP because of it, and it's what worries me. So I'd give in. 

I keep asking the Lord to end this epsisode because my wife and I are very tired of it. I believe with all my heart that God can turn things around in an instant and make everything work out right. He can so easily touch my son's heart so he'd be drawn to Jesus, repent, and be genuinely born again. Is not that the work of the Holy Spirit? God can also quickly rescue my son (and us) from our financial woes and move things so that my son gets a good job or livelihoond and be able to pay all his debts. GOD can easily do all these things. 

I'm wondering why HE isn't. 

I now for a fact that it's HIS will that my son gets saved and born again and pay off all his debts and prosper. Without a doubt, I know it's HIS will. But why isn't HE doing it? Why does it seems that HE's just watching everything and doing nothing? Timing? Isn't this the perfect time to rescue us all? 

Now, as a result, I'm planning on stopping my pastorate for a while (or maybe permanently) because my testimony is ruined. It hurts me so much to see my son being like that and becoming rebellious. I know it's all his fault, but aren't we all prone to foolishness and stupidity and sometimes, rebelliousness, especially when we can't understand what's happening and how things are the result of our mistakes?

I see a lot of people around, even church people, doing lots of mistakes and foolishness and rebelliousness (that they're not aware of) but still being blessed by God tremendously. All blessings are by grace and the mercy of God, and not credited to any good work or correct performace. There's no such thing as "correct" performance in God's eyes. Only what Jesus did and does through His obedient servants are correct in God's eyes. And a lot of us (even active church people and those who "plant" many churches) are often guilty of disobedience and falling short of what God expects. But God still blesses many of us, more than usual, only because of his grace and mercy. 

Why does God bless them with more than is necessary? Because HE tests their hearts. God keeps testing our hearts. He tests those He gives more than enough, to make them see where their hearts are when it comes to giving up everything they have and giving to the poor. He also tests the hearts of the poor to make them see how far their faith can go even with the temporary lack. 

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Christ Died for Us While We Were Evil and Rebellious

MyBible.com

Christ Died for Us While We Were Evil and Rebellious, Not When We Were Good---and We Always Forget That.

They all want us to renounce our eldest son for all he did---living in with his GF who has lots of tatoo on her body, borrowed a lot of our money without paying for them so far, and asking his mom to take loans online for him amounting to hundreds of thousands of pesos. I told my wife to stop the help (though I love our son), and she did, but she felt bad leaving our son without any help because everyone's rejected him. I mean everyone, even our siblings and relatives. His GF's relatives don't care one bit and she's an orphan and can't work due to her heart ailment. 

And seeing her son getting no help whatsoever from anyone, my wife sometimes has highblood pressure seeing him suffer, especially at times our son calls us up and cries and says he can no longer endure it and would give up. So I let her help to make her feel better. But the loans keep increasing. And everyone gets pissed off by that---our loans for our son and him wasting it all for over a year now. They all tell us to spurn our son and disown him as family. And these are Christians who profess to love GOD.

Our son did a lot of stupid mistakes, I admit it (still does them), and I always scold him each time, telling him what he should do, with reminders about GOD and His Word. He listens and sometimes obeys but he's also stubborn. He's a good guy, actually, and I'm not saying that just because he's my son. But he grew up with us all the time (so I know hm well) until he met his tatooed GF. Then everything went haywire. 

He's still good and respectfully, soft-spoken and tends to rescue the weak and bullied. He's been like that since grade school (he's 29 this March). But he has a lot of wrong ideas about how to earn money and he wastes money doing businesses that fail. Plus wastes money on expenses to please his tatooed GF. He's prodigal. That's his sin. He's not into drugs, vices, liquor, women, gambling, etc. And because of his sin they want us to punish him with banishment. They forget that all of us were worse when Christ blessed us with grace. 

Christ died for us while we were yet sinners. 

HE died for us while we were yet rebellious, evil, GOD haters, stubborn, greedy, selfish, and worshiped money, to mention a few. And yet, while we were like this, Jesus died for us. While we did everything GOD hated, GOD blessed us with the most important blessing of all---HIS SON. GOD never thought of abandoning us or stopping his blessings to us. While evil, he still blessed us with our jobs, job promotions, education, food, good times, vacations, and everything else (God's general blessings to both the righteous and the wicked), not to mention oxygen, sunlight, rain and the seasons. He gave us all these while we were not yet Jesus followers and soaking in stupid wickedness. 

I find it ridiculous how so many religious people won't help people in need unless the needy pass their religious moral standards. Thank GOD he didn't do that to us. He blesses us regardless of the condition of our hearts or whether we pass GOD's moral standards or not. Thank GOD he doesn't stop blessing us just because he doesn't like what we're doing. In fact, even after being born again, we still do a lot of stupid wrongs (especially in the bad ways we think of others). But GOD still blesses us anyway. If we are unfaithful with giving, for instance, he may withdraw some blessings but still blesses us with some needs, though in scant amounts. God still keeps us alive, and that's a blessing. 

See the prodigal son? That son grew up with the father and the father knew his son's character. Yet, when the son asked for his inheritance, the father gave it. He didn't withhold it because of his son's tendency for wasteful spending and wrong living. And he never disowned, rejected or renounced his son. It was the son who left home of his own freewill. And when he came back, the father welcomed him. How many times must we forgive the guy who sins against us? Jesus said not seven but seventy times seven, or infinitely. As long as the person goes back to ask our pardon, we give it to him---and even prepare a feast for the offender. That's what the father did. 

Now, these Christians who are angry at our son and tells us to disown him and stop helping him. I don't know where they got the idea. For sure, it's not GOD's parenting principle. 

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