Money, At Last!...Or So I Thought

I really thought the ancestral property of my mom and her brothers would (at last) be sold, and we'd finally have enough money. Everything was arranged and the buyer seemed bent on buying it. It was just a matter of bargaining. But then, at the last minute, the buyer changed mind and asked for a funny arrangement, which of course, was rejected by my uncle and cousin.

It was supposed to be a 25-million peso plus deal. Or probably 30 M. I thought I and my wife would finally have enough money (I've been praying for this a long-long time!) to repair our badly dilapidated house, pay off some debts, engage in a good business, and of course, last but not least, give our tithes and support some ministry.

But all that was frustrated. The deal didn't push through. What kind of life is this?

Why?

I've always wondered why God doesn't seem to want us to prosper. I've been praying for this--that God give us enough money for all we need so that we won't have to rely on anyone else anymore, except on him. he gives more than enough money to some people, why not us?

I don't want to be super rich, like what he does to others. All I ask is enough money to make our simple lives work without being indebted to anyone. Indebtedness makes a slave of people. If you become indebted to a person and the person is not in Christ, he or she will surely take advantage of you. Even "Christians" and church people do this. Why is it that God gives them more than enough money like that and not give us enough money?

I thank God for providing our needs--but I want all our debts to end, and no more to follow. I want our house repaired so it'd look like a house for humans, not looking like a rustic poultry house. I've been asking you, God, for this, but you seem to just watch us suffer this lack. I claim and believe all your promises in the bible, but so little become true. It's like a carrot hung on a stick to make the rabbit go forward--is that what it's all about?

God, I believe in you. I believe in your Word. I believe you're true to your promises--you never lie. I don't form beliefs just out of my life experiences or circumstances. I believe your Word in the bible, no mater what. But please, make it happen. Make us see it happen--I and my wife and kids.

I'm employed as a training director, but the company is making me do other jobs not related to my position, and there's no extra pay for them. I wanna quit and just do the networking business of the company full-time, and I was banking on the money from the sale of my mom's ancestral land to come in on time to sustain our expenses while the business isn't yet making money for us. And I also don't wanna rely on the tithes and offering my church members give--I still don't trust the commitment of most of them. They're still very carnal.

Moreover, I spend so much time in my job that I miss my long free time for your You, your Word, and other things I really enjoy doing. Please, god, help in this. I want to be free. I just want to do a lucrative business and stay home most of the time or go out and do ministry. And I want my close-in disciples to do the business with me and earn enough so they can also quit their jobs and be full-time in ministry.

Please God....thank you! I praise and worship you, Lord God, almighty! Thank you Lord Jesus!

When I hate life...I just sit down by Your side and seek your face, quietly, Lord Jesus! I need you.