My boss looked me in the eye and said something like, "You're not going to be like them, are you, and you're not going to leave us like this?" So, I had no choice but to delay my resignation for a while. I and my wife wife will have to do the business slow pace. Oh well....wiwss!
I just wonder why other people who have no plan in life but to squander their money on women and vices get money so easily while folks like I and my wife who are all-out for God's Kingdom building do not. God, there are several channels available where you can send us money--like my monetized blogs and websites, the fertilizer and food supplement businesses we're doing, my mom's property up for sale (but which hasn't materialized yet for years), and others--and yet no money comes in. Why God? When the going gets tough--when I hate life--I begin to wonder why the wicked get money so easily and we don't. I'm not money-greedy, but the fact is, we need money. Just look at our badly dilapidated house, and our badly torn bed cushion on the floor where we sleep each night, and the floor so ruined by termites. Our backs ache and it sometimes affect our sleep. But thank God that we sleep well still.
In the village, our house is the worse looking. It's so old and small and badly need repairs. But at least, it's one of the happiest, thank God. Still, we really need a good shelter. I've been asking, God, that you help us. Please help us.
What foolish people told them that?
What I need to do is to bring these people to God and ask Him to have mercy on them, too, NOT thank God that I am not like them, or that I'm more blessed than they are. God, please help us! Have mercy on us! You are God, and merciful, so help us! And I thank you in advance!
I'm never "more blessed than truly needy people." I hate that idea. We should all be blessed. We should all desire that everybody get blessed by God, and not just compare ourselves with others' sorry plight. And we should all ask God why the wicked seem to get money so easily. I know they'd be punished later, but the poor are punished from start to last. Which brings me to ask the reader--who do you trust more, God or a payday loan company? If you need $10k within the day, who do you think could give you that amount within 24 hours? God or the payday loan company?
Or, if you need food for breakfast, who would be able to help you right away, God or your parents? If you asked your parents they'd give you food right away. But how about if you pray to God? Would he give you food right now, or will you have to wait a long time? A church prayed for finances to be able to build its small church building. They prayed for months, even years. Then, they finally had their small church building. When a rich neighbor learned of this he laughed. He told the pastor, "I have 3 mansions with a garage having 5 cars each. I got them all within 3 months, and I didn't even have to pray!"
It is God who provides parents who give you what you need pronto, the payday loan company that loans you money within 24 hours, and all the material possessions of wicked people on earth. God provides for all these, and he does it even before people pray to him--or even without praying to him. But then, it takes a lot of meditation to make this truth sink in. It's easy to figure this out, but the problem is with the sinking in. Many times you get deeply affected by the same old problems which answers God has already shown you before. The answers need to sink in, deep, until you stop getting affected by the problems. It's like having leprosy....you need to meditate life with God until your spiritual nerves are deadened and unfeeling to the world's silly woes and responsive only to God.
This takes time...
In the meantime, you run to God and complain to him. Complaining to God as seeking refuge in love is vital...it comforts and heals and strengthens. Others prefer help and solace from human relationships; I seek God and rest in him alone. I and my wife. I teach my wife this propensity. She grew up in church ministry--I didn't--but she learns more from me. All the grace of God. God is my God, and my best teacher is the Holy Spirit was I walk with him.
Walking with God is the best learning there is.
As you try to understand this life and your place in it, you should walk with God. He alone is Guide. And make sure you do everything by the Guide lines. The Guide has lines you should memorize and rehearse and finally apply.
Sometimes, you tire of life. Life is exhausting...the same silly things over and over. The things you pray for are not yet happening; the things you never pray for, they easily happen...and sometimes keep on happening. While other people have the time of their lives. Good times to them are just everyday life. While you, you have to pray hard just to have the good times. Good times to people are times of wanton waste and vices--still, they get the good times, just like that. Your good times, on the other hand, are times you want for God and your family--and you have to struggle in prayer a lot just to have them.
This life is crazy--and it's when I hate life and ask what kind of life is this. Is this life? I and my wife, it seems, have been having this life since we were young. God, please improve our lives.
Then there's this towel that you try to hang several times on the towel holder in your toilet and it keeps dropping down. You try again more carefully and still it falls off. Now, when you want to throw it without hanging or getting entangled on anything it easily hangs around something even without you try to. Hahaha! It's silly. And I haven't told you yet of the stupid mosquito. Tell you later...
