It's a bible promise. If I seek God first, all these things shall be added to me. But where are the additions? It's more like subtractions. My house is badly dilapidated, I need P250,000 to be cured of excess electricity in my heart, I need money for my allergies, teeth health, and other needs. I need money for my wife's and sons' needs. Where are the added things?
Seek God first? I've been seeking him since 1998. I was born again in 1980, but everything was crystal clear to me in 1998. I joined God in his present move of the Holy Spirit. I learned giving up everything to him, treating as trash everything else, that I may gain Christ. Since that day in 1998 I have been doggedly pursuing God, seeking him, not just so all these things shall be added to me, but because I saw that God alone is true, and that he is God and Lord and worthy of praise and love, forever more.
I only think about the "all these things shall be added" when I hate life again, life in this world, and this is because I have to pay bills and the budget isn't enough. I believe with all my heart that God provides everything, but I just can't figure out why I and my wife have to do salary advancements just to make ends meet. This coming school year, my eldest kid's tuition fee will be P30k, with a first deposit of P20k. Where would I get that, Lord? Please provide it without us having to make advances. I hate making salary advances.
I believe in Matthew 6. If you seek God first, everything will be added to you. No doubt--even if what I experience is the opposite. I believe in God's truth, not in my experience. But of course, as a believer, I want to experience the whole verse which says that everything I need, every single one of them, from these, that, and those--all these things shall be added to me. I won't have to work hard for them or say long prayers for them. In fact, I won't have to pray for them because God's going to simply add them to me. It's very clear in the verse. I won't have to make any salary advancements.
So, where is it? Where is the addition? God is always true to his Word. He never lies. But I wonder where the addition is? I want to see it.
Probably, I need to be more trusting on him like birds and lilies do. Birds don't sow or store in barns, and the Father feeds them well. Lilies don't need to spin and God clothes them well, much better than he clothed King Solomon. In other words, birds and lilies don't work for a living.
Maybe the addition is not yet in full because I still believe in spinning, sowing, and storing in barns (I still believe in doing a job for a living). Maybe my faith isn't as radical and extreme as that of the birds and lilies? Maybe I should stop doing any work altogether and just do what birds do--sing and fly and enjoy God--and do what lilies do--float on the river of Life.
Dare I do that--step out in faith and forget about working for a living? Jesus did that and he lived well, though not respectable in the eyes of the Pharisees. He was rejected and looked down on. But Paul and the Acts church did something for a living. Is relying 100 percent on God and forgetting about work a more advanced level in the Spirit than what Paul and the Acts church did? Was the Acts church headed for that direction--of being like the birds and lilies?
Anyway, as it is, I really need to have all things added to me. I need financial rescue, God--and more depth in the Spirit and in your Word.
