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Often, nothing seems to work in my life. Not even the towel
cooperates when I try to hang it on the stair handrail or bathroom hanger—after
a few tries, it falls straight to the floor. Silly towel.
I wonder if I try the reverse. If I try not to hang it, would it
hang itself there? Probably. Haven’t tried it, and perhaps I will some time.
Often too, when I create an email address or sign up on a website,
even if I remember the username and password well, there would be an error when
I try to login. Often it happens and it's beginning to be ridiculous! I don’t
know why there has to be an error, and then I have to request a new password.
Sometimes, that doesn't work either. Things like this often happen.
Never a smooth occasion.
When I do paper works like securing clearances or licenses, there
has to be something wrong. Like when I was securing my NBI clearance, other
applications went smoothly but mine had an error. I had to go back after a week
because there were some problems.
You send an urgent email and the guy you sent it to cannot open
it.
But when you look at other people’s lives, theirs often have
smooth processes and outcomes. This was especially pronounced when I was in
college—during enrollment. The lucky guys always had it easy and smooth while I
always had to correct some errors or right some records and wait in very long
lines.
Aside from that, I had big and serious troubles with cystic acnes
on my face and nape that added to all the difficulties, enrollment and all, and
which caused me to often drop out of college and eventually fail to graduate.
I mean, cystic acnes that erupted and oozed generously with pus.
And yet I thank God that notwithstanding, I was still able to
marry a really pretty girl when I was 35. Sometimes my life manages to work out
smoothly and correctly like that. But it seems that for one thing that happens
right, 20 things happen wrong.
I’ve been frustrated a lot of times trying to apply for a job. One
time, I was so desperate that I spread out all the classified ads I cut out
from the newspaper on my bed and prayed and cried to the Lord. I laid hands on
them. Then I went out to apply.
The success formula was all there—pray fervently, believe, claim,
and work on it. Faith with works. I was so confident in the Lord as I submitted
my resume to the companies one by one and faced interviews. After all, he said
that anything you asked in his Name according to his will had a sure result.
The result?
Nothing, Zero, Nada.
This even if I desperately needed a job because I had a family to
feed and spend for. I and my wife were out of job then. I had to ask for food
around and borrow or ask for money as well. I really looked so much of a
failure. And I thought the bible said God knows his plan for me. I thought he
said he will never leave me nor forsake me. This is the plan? To be a failure
while non-believers around me got all the job security they wanted and the
perks in life?
Well, much much later I landed in several jobs—jobs (again) I
didn’t want but which I did because I desperately needed money. Jobs I never
enjoyed doing but did them well anyway. As I have said in my first article
here, God gave me a heart and talent for writing. I wanted to be a writer and
today I want to be a successful blogger, e-book publisher and seller, and earn
my livelihood from them.
I and my wife pray so hard for all these. We beg God to prosper my
hard efforts, writing my own e-books and blogs and promoting them on social
media. But what have I been getting so far? Online writing jobs that sucks.
Writing for other people's websites. Websites not my interest. What I want is
to have my own blog and earn money from it, just like what God allows other
bloggers I know who earn a lot. And I mean A LOT. There are lots of them given
that blessing. Why not me?
Have you done a job that did not interest you at all and in fact
even sucked? Sometimes you talk yourself into doing it (or hypnotize yourself), even dupe yourself and add
in an element of interest (and the interest being that you need the money). But
the trick never lasts. Soon you snap out of it and see the silliness of it all.
You want a blog that works and you know God can so easily give it
to you. But for some reason, he doesn't.
Why?
Yet, I go on hoping and trusting in God. I know he knows the plan
he has for me despite the circumstances I see around me. I know God is good and
will one day give me the desires of my heart.
