After I was given my meds at the ER (where my wife rushed me that fateful Monday morning), I felt weird, weird and scary side effects. My BP dropped and I felt dizzy. My breathing felt funny. I called up my heart doctor to ask what was going on. He just told me to eat something spicy and drink any softdrink. What a prescription. And then he lowered one of my meds (Atenelol) to half a tablet. So I take half of Atenelol and half of Lanoxin.
The really funny thing is, I see guys smoking themselves to death and they don't get rushed to the ER. Moreover, I always pray for no-palpitation and increasing body health and strength, to no avail. I still had the palpitations and spent P8,000 during my 30-minute treatment at the ER. And these smoking guys, I bet, never pray for health and getting spared from being rushed to the ER, and yet nothing happens to them.
To top it all, I serve God and believe all His promises, while they don't. And I'm a heath buff. They get away with it, just like that. There are other ministers who serve God, believe His Word, but live unhealthy lives just the same. They over stress themselves, don't exercise, and eat terribly. I'm not like that. Why this? If they get hospitalized, it's no wonder. Sick people who abuse their health deserve what they get.
God, when will this end? When will you start really blessing me and my wife? We just take everything in, hoping one day you'd really take pity on us and take us out of this mess. Weird side effects, not just with meds, but with life itself. When we get some money, you seem to send something to wipe it all away. The little we have, you have thrown away. Why? We return to you the tithes and give offerings--and you promised you'd open the floodgates of heaven that the blessings would fill our rooms to the max. Where is that?
I know You are faithful--I believe that with all my heart--and you fulfill your promises. You are good and perfect. I have no doubt. Yet, for some reason, You do this to us. Sometimes I wish my wife had met another guy for a husband--a rich guy--so she'd be spared of this difficulty. I really am sorry she has to suffer like this because of me--she and our kids. They deserve something better.
If she'd married another (she had better suitors), then I would have less to worry about while suffering this. My wife and kids would have been spared. Sometimes I look at them and feel sorry for them. I pray to You, God, but you just stand watching there. And not only that, you even permit more suffering. Like now, my wife had another HBP attack two nights back, and then I have painful blister on my inner leg, and we're short of money.
Thank you God that her blood test this morning was just sightly below normal so she didn't need the P2,500 injection. I praise you! But she still feels weak and dizzy--and I do, too. I've been feeling weird side effects--weakness and dizziness. My recent thyroid test showed not good T3, T4, Tsh. But what can I do? I thought you've healed my thyroid.
And people who have money and who we run to for borrowing money are arrogant and enslaving--though they claim to be Christians. And God doesn't seem to check their character flaws and the way they throw their weights around. But us--I don't know why you treat us this way, Lord...
When unexplainable things happen--weird side effects of life--and there's no rescue from God, that's when I hate life and...oh, what kind of life is this?
