Last Monday morning I was again rushed to the ER of the Philippine Heart Center for Asia. Earlier at 6.20 am I woke up with heart palpitations which I hoped and prayed would just disappeared immediately. When I was sick with the flu recently, I had palpitations for about an hour after I coughed. This Monday, it went on for more than hour and my doc said I had to proceed to the ER. My wife and I went, and it was a stormy morning.
I was hoping and praying it would cease before we got to the hospital, but it didn't. Several times before, it had. The palpitations had stopped before we reached Heart Center, it was a great relief, returning home being spared of the trouble and expense. But this Monday it didn't stop. I was hoping for God's grace and mercy. Nothing. Finally, I was again given the procedure I dreaded--wherein you were given a serum intravenously (with an IV on your arm--before this it was on my left hand).
The serum was pushed into my vein with water and I could feel it in my arms, then in my chest, and it was terrible. I felt like my heart was going to explode and that I was going to passout. I felt so weak. I didn't fight it off--I just let it happen (to lessen the tension), and then my heart would feel like it was going to be still for a while, and then it would beat normally again.That was a great relief after what felt like death.
But the resident doctor had to give the serum 3 times and had to increase the dosage each time. That was expensive. That's why after just 30 minutes of ER treatment I had to pay P8,000! That's 90 percent of my income, gone in just 30 minutes!
And I wondered why God allowed it to happen. My wife and I kept wondering why it happened and God didn't make it stop to spare us of the trouble and expense.
First, my sons had the flu (and my youngest had it twice). The I had the flu, too--once in my birthday and another recently. Imagine all the expenses! And then I was rushed to the ER which cost us P8,000 in 30 minutes. And to think that I and my wife are serving God in a ministry. Why? Where are all the promises on health and protection and doing what I ask in Jesus' Name?
Still, we thank God for all the help--mostly unseen--and for keeping my wife healthy and strong. Her blood test revealed 10 hemoglobin count, which is good. Praise God! And she feels okay and strong enough. Thank you, Lord! But still, why all these ailments and expenses? Literally, we have no savings, my eldest is in college with an almost P40,000 per sem tuition fee, my youngest is in grade school with some expenses, too (thank you, Lord, because he is a scholar, being a pastor's kid in a Christian school), and for my heart palpitation to be permanently remedied it needs the ablation procedure which costs P300,000!
Please, Lord, provide for everything. These are all necessities. And we look up to you, Lord. We depend on you alone. Add to this our badly dilapidated house that needs some P400,000 for repairs alone. Termites and pests abound in our house because of its poor condition. I ask provisions for all these in Jesus' Name! Please God...
Thank you, Lord for giving me encouragement in the face of all these discouragements and frustrations (especially when I hate life because of them), and thank you for empowering me encourage my wife in all these. I really get frustrated because after believing your Word and supernatural powers, this is what I get. I radically believe your Word and promises and Kingdom principles. Well, at times I have my share of shortcomings and failures--and sometimes sins--but I repent and really surrender them to you (knowing that I have no strength of my own to fight them). I always ask you, Lord, to take anything not yours away from me--from my heart--and to help me live the way you want me to, and not to punish me but to help me.
I rely on you and I expect help and strengthening from you, not punishment--although we all deserve punishments--but the grace that is in your Son, Jesus Christ, have negated all punishments and now we can expect nothing else but help from you through your grace and mercy in Christ,which he made possible through his cross. Isn't that how it works? The unrepentant can expect your wrath, but we who rely on your mercy and grace and have surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ can expect your LIFE promises, right? We have righteousness by faith.
We have been saved from your wrath by the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
Please, Lord make that work more in me and my wife so that we could enjoy true abundance. I want to enjoy your protection and covering. I want to experience every promise you show me in your Word.
Please, Lord...Oh Lord, what kind of life is this? Anyway, I praise you Lord!
Thank you in advance.
