I don't wish them harm, but if they don't easily get sick, the more I should not. I take health supplements, am a health buff, eat healthy, and exercise. And yet I get colds and post nasal drip and cough and now this stupid pus in they eye. And the medication ointment is making me uncomfortable and the scheduled hot compress treatment is a bother.
And I so pity my eldest son who has worsening acne problems--and I see how he's beginning to be irritated by it, finding it stupid. I brought him to a derma clinic yesterday and it cost me P1,600 plus just for consultation and a few meds. That;s not including a pricking treatment which costs another P1,500 per. And we're not rich. God makes others so rich and yet free of problems like this--and they waste their wealth on silly stuff and even become greedy for more--and yet they're not punished. Yes they will be--in the Judgment--but that's a long time still. Meanwhile, they enjoy and we suffer, and we're seen as being in the wrong--while those who do evil enjoy comfort and money.
Why like this, God?
I heard a Christian testify of being so blessed by God--and he was talking about having a lot of money. And he puts you down for not being "blessed" as he is just because you don't have money. But when I watch his real life testimony--how he always declares that he could easily leave his wife and ready to divorce her anytime, how he easily gets very mad by little things, how he physically hurts those he "disciplines"--and yet he just gets blessed by God financially and he boasts of it and thinks he's in the right. Many people think they're in the right just because they continue to have lots of money and others don't. They're like pus in the eye.
And I and my wife (especially my wife) are again being treated as slaves by her family who boasts on having a lot of money and thus blessed by God. I pity my wife--she is often at the end of all blames for this and that when things are not working out right. They treat her thus because we have no money and they have--and they say we're not blessed by God because we don;t agree with them. They yell at her in public and shame her. Then we both just bite our lips and keep mum. Then she cries to me.
Why do you treat us like this, God? Why are you just watching passively? Why don't you do what your Word says you'd do to the boastful?
But things happen fast if it's about my son's acne or this stupid pus in the eye or my wife's thallasemia or something else we don't need or never prayed for. They happen immediately and stay very long--even with us praying and begging your mercy. I prayed that my son would not get my acne problems when I was a teen, and yet there it is, pestering my son. We pray hard that you heal us of all our diseases, and yet we get little favors. I thank you so much, God, for those partial answers to prayers--my wife gets some relief from thallasemia and she'd stronger now than before, and my palpitation seldom bother me now and it quickly leaves when it happens--but why only partial healing? Didn't you say in your Word that if I ask anything in your Name, you shall do it?
Why is this pus in the eye healing so slow? And why make it happen at all? What for? And we see the wicked getting drunk and smoking all they want and never have these health problems. And I see people in sexual immorality continuing to enjoy it and even having the resources to do it and never get punished. And I see people getting the devil's luck charms and continue to stay rich. And I see Christians with rotten characters and demonic ways and stay "blessed" and not get punished.
I don't ask that they be punished; but what I ask is, if they don't get punished, why do we?
It's all so stupid. This life is stupid. Everything is like pus in the eye. We live by your standards by your grace and mercy and we get this---ailments we shouldn't have, financial lack that makes us in other's mercy, badly dilapidated house, garbage and rotting bed which rests directly on the floor terribly infested by termites, to mention a few.
Sorry, Lord, for our shortfalls, and thank you for enabling us remain in your grace and mercy. My wife and I have a strong marital relationship and our family is strong in you. We have peace that others--even the moneyed who think they're so blessed--do not have. We (my wife and kids) stay strong together in you while we see others disintegrate gradually and become so spiritually blind, thinking themselves so "blessed" just because of their financial standing although they have rotten lives.
I thank and praise you, Lord God, for all those spiritual favors!
And yet, we have a lot more needs we must have. They're not luxuries or mere whims--they're necessities, and we need them to free ourselves from the oppression of others. Especially my dear wife--her siblings always make her the end of all blame, and some of the love putting her to public shame, yelling at her and doing things that degrade her in public. Please Lord, FREE US OF THEM! Rescue us! My heart weeps when I see my wife being treated like garbage. And then later, they give her money--like it's the payment for putting her down publicly. You, God, taught us to forgive those who sin against us and be humble, so even if I don't want to accept anything from them, we do, so that you'd bless them. I watch myself never to have hatred against anyone. And you promised that if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to your disciples, you'd bless the giver.
I and my wife accept the money so that you'd bless them spiritually and see the truth. But you know my heart, Lord. I don't want to receive anything from them. In fact, I and my wife have agreed never to ask anything from them. But they give, anyway, and I see it as payment for their character abuse of her.
And they know that their sister--my wife--has thallasemia. So she shouldn't be sleeping late and getting to stressed. But that's what they do to her. And then she comes home all stressed up and we have to suffer the unhealthy effects on her. Sometimes her BP shoots up, or she feels cold and sweaty and chilling or she feels so dizzy and fearful of what's going on in her. These are all signs of stress, and then her thallasemia acts up. And she has to be injected with a bone marrow stimulant which costs P3,500 per shot.
They don't care what happens to her--they just pay her money and they think they've done more than enough and feel we owe it to them.
Now, Lord, why don't you do something to get us free of them all? Why do you just stand there watching? Why don;t you get rid of the pus in the eye? We always pray to you for rescue and complete freedom from them for years but you have not done anything? But things we never pray for--like this pus in the eye--quickly happens and lasts a long time. When I hate life and things like this happen, I ask, what kind of life is this?
