Always a Rotten Cab

Always a rotten cab. Each time I need a cab it's always the rotten one, while those around me get the best looking ones--even brand new ones. And I don't think they prayed for that. I often pray that God send me a good looking cab. It very seldom happens. And in the few times it happens, I thank God and praise him. I doubt if the others do the same. Do they?...Probably...

Thus, sometimes, I expect God to give me inferior provisions. When it comes to giving me, he seems to often opt for second rate. I don't doubt God's capacity or power--nothing is impossible to him. I just don't know why he seems to often give me the worse kind. Always a rotten cab, so to speak. And my wife sometimes notices it, too. God, I pray that you'd soon change this scenario. I'm really tired of it. It's been like this since my teen years, it seems. But I really thank God for giving me the perfect wife for me and sons. Praise you, God!

When there's always a rotten cab in my life, that's when I hate life and ask what kind of life is this. I run to God through his Word and seek out his thoughts and what he has to say to me. Most times he makes me open to the right passage, then I meditate on it. I keep coming back to it day after day. And I relish in it. Sometimes he doesn't say a Word about my situation but instead leads me to another different thought. Then I meditate on it anyway. Is it to divert my attention? Is it like what he did to Elijah who complained about being the only servant of God left in Israel, but when God finally spoke, all he said was to ask him what he was doing in the wilderness?

God sometimes ignores complaints or questions on life. The disciples asked my Jesus about times and seasons and all he said was that it was not for them to know about such matters. But they shall be clothed with power from on high. When you ask about things like that, God seems to be rather interested in power. When I ask him about rotten cabs and worse scenarios while the others get the good ones, he seems to ignore them and talk to me about power in weakness. But I still don't know how and if I already have the power made perfect in weakness. What does it really look like? And it seems that he just keeps on giving me rotten cabs, anyway. Always a rotten cab. Why?

Most times you get tired of getting nothing but rotten cabs. What lesson can be derived from that? I don't know. What's the point? Just look at this: we have a rotten (old, dilapidated) house infested by termites, a rotten and very worn out bed cushion that looks like we got it from the dumps, we sleep on the floor badly eaten by termites, we're often underdogs of arrogant people who abuse our tolerance and patience (and yet these people keep on being rewarded in life), we're the only one affected by the noise of our blatantly loud neighbor in the neighborhood because all the rest have air conditioned houses, plus, I don't know why smokers would often stop by in front our house to light a cigarette and stay there to puff smoke. And then we catch the side stream. All this, aside from rotten cabs.

Last night my wife complained to me, with a follow up this morning--why do we always have to get the worse of things? When can we have some smooth sailing, like what others have? I now everyone of us have problems and imperfections in life. No life is perfect (although a spiritual life can be). Yet, what "problems" or "difficulties" the majority have are nothing compared to what the rest of us have. Like my boyhood friend. When we were young, his number one problem was where he'd meet a perfect girlfriend. He had lots of them. While me, my problem then was that my family was down financially I didn't know if I would be able to continue my college. That was aside from my severe and monstrous acnes on my face and back. The acnes were so swollen and sometimes they would rupture and ooze out puss while I was in school or while I was talking to someone.

I thank God that my beautiful wife still liked me even with the damage acnes had wrought on my face. She said she used to be so turned off by guys with pimples or acnes, but in my case it was different. She never noticed them, she claimed. And that's all the handy work of God. God meant us to be. And I praise Him! I prayed that my son wouldn't suffer the same acnes, but now he has it, and I pity him. Did guys with smooth skin and face pray that God give them that? I doubt. Why is it that some people who pray like me don't get what they ask for (and get what they didn't ask for) while folks who don't pray get the good (sometimes best) things? What kind of life is this?

Always a rotten cab.

God, I'm really, really tired of rotten cabs while I pray for brand new ones (because I believe with all my heart that you can easily give me brand new ones) and I pray that you would change our lives with my wife and kids. Thanks.