change from stormy weather and rage.."
-Ps 55
Right now I'm desperate...I need a life change very badly. When I hate life and ask what kind of life is this, I think of our desperate condition more. I want God to change our financial condition. I want to stop being dependent on anyone. I very badly need a business I and my wife can do and get our supplies from, a business God blesses, so that we wouldn't have to rely on anyone for our financial needs. I don't even want to rely on what our church disciples give as tithes and offering.
Like what the apostle Paul had. He had the right to demand supplies from the Corinthian church as their father in faith, but he rather not. Instead, he had a tent-making business which God blessed. He still accepted help from the churches, even the Corinthian church, but he did a business to supply his needs with, and that he treated as directly being supplied by God. I want that, God. I need that. So now I'm desperate. I want to be independent from man.
I've opened up possible channels for God to bless, and I hope he would prosper all of them. I have blogs with Google and Amazon ads, I have a networking business with my wife, and I plan to have an online business, Lord, and I pray that you'd bless them as you bless people I know who have blog businesses and networking businesses. I'm also waiting for my mom's property to be sold.
I don't trust most of my so-called disciples because of the sins I and my wife recently discovered in most of them. They cannot do without sin--they listen to messages God gives them through me but only pay them lip service. Honestly, I haven't seen anyone, in all my church ministry, who could equal my dedication to the Word since I was young in the Lord in 1980. Barely 6 months, I was then already reliant on the Holy Spirit for the Word and behaving maturely. That was in a campus ministry in FEU. Only when I joined a denominational church did my spiritual life decline (about 1983), and only picked up again in 1998 when I discovered God's present move.
I haven't seen anyone who's like me. I pray that you, God, provide me with disciples who are like me in the Word, minus the sins I struggled with as a young believer. I struggled with some sins I fought hard not to fall into permanently, and God saved me out of the mire. I thought that holiness was impossible in this life because I was just human, but that was while I hadn't discovered God's present move. When I did, holiness became like oxygen you naturally breathe in daily.
But I'm still desperate for a change--a change in our financial life. I need God to prosper me with money, not so I can enjoy worldly wealth, but so that my family's life would be improved and we can better help other people. God, please prosper all the small businesses I've been doing in hopes that you'd do them with me. And I believe that you yourself put the desire to do them in my heart--you led me to do them. The desire to do them was supernaturally placed in my heart, because I myself wouldn't have had any interest in them--first, because I wasn't interested in anything hi-tech, and I totally got tired of network marketing for a long time.
But you, Lord, opened up the interest in them so that now, I can easily create blogs and websites, and you always give me new ideas for them! Thank you, Lord! And now, I'm employed in a networking company as training director (a poorly paid one) and doing the business, too, with my wife.
Lord, I'm very desperate for change. I'm tired of the rage and stormy weather that my life seems to be characterized with--and so does my wife's life.
BTW, my eldest son's foot is bandaged due to an ankle accident he got from a recent basketball game. And so far, my wife's blood ailment is improving--thank you God for your healing touch and for purple corn juice that helps us a lot for better health. And thank you God for my excellent test results--my doc said I am in tiptop health. It's all because of YOU! Praise you, my Lord Jesus!
Times when I hate life and ask God what kind of life is this, I just dwell on the thought that God is faithful and would one day soon give me a financial breakthrough.
