This world was not designed for me. Often, I don't see how I fit in. This lunch, I and my family was lambasted and mocked again for being meek. Proud people hate the meek. And these supposed to be were born again Christians.
We were made to feel as if being meek was a sin and very stupid. If you want to be smart and "blessed" by God, you should be self assertive and aggressive.
How did we react? We just ate our food. We were treated to Max restaurant (it served one of the best fried chicken in our country) to be belittled (well, actually, we were invited there to listen to how successful proud people were. We were their audience), and we just meekly behaved.
That's your role to proud people when you don't have money.
The proud prosper, no matter how many times you read in the bible that God wrecks them. Pride comes first before destruction. God hates the proud but gives grace to the meek. I believe in all that. But meanwhile, the proud prosper and are rewarded and the meek are their laughing stock.
It really seems and feels like God favors the proud. They just keep getting prosperous and prouder of it. I still have yet to see a proud guy get demolished in his pride. It seems like I keep getting the demolitions. Why is this? So I'd know that the Lord is God? I know that a long time already. That's why I and my family are meek. We definitely know that the Lord is God. But why do I seem like I'm the one being demolished?
Why pick on me? What did I do?
When I hate life because of silly situations I find myself in--when I read this and that in the bible and yet the opposite happens to me--I shout in my mind, "What kind of life is this?" Why does it seem like my down moments are your up moments, God? Why does it seem to delight you when I'm put down?
I've been doggedly and industriously managing my websites and blog sites daily, really working hard with them, and I always pray that God would prosper me through them. Been doing it for years...but nothing's happening. God knows I can no longer do office jobs due to my health and age. I and my wife have been trying to put up a business, to no avail.
Oh, I thank God for my loving and understanding wife who always stands by my side in everything. God bless her more! She's a real woman of God. She loves me and believes my calling from God through thick and thin.
Does not God bless hard work? Proverbs says sure prosperity is the result of all hard work. And I've seen how God prospered a lot of internet marketers. He's been doing it to others, why not to me?
Those who prosper on the internet proudly boast of their income to lure others to join them, and add more to their wealth. The proud prosper. God knows my heart. He knows my meekness. And he knows that if he gives me income from my online work, I'd use it for his glory--for Kingdom come.
But still---nothing.
I know. Back in my mind, I really believe the proud will never prosper. Though my experience tells me otherwise, I stick to God's truth in the bible. What we see in the physical world are lies and temporary. What is spiritual is truth and permanent. God blesses the meek--giving them more grace--and hates the proud.
But meanwhile, we suffer the spirit of the proud. We're mocked and belittled, seen as idiots. Until when, God?
Rescue me! You are my God! Please, don't just watch me.
