I very gently exercise my left shoulder, and sometimes the pain would be less, but it's still there. Sometimes, just wearing my polo shirts--when I make a wrong movement--causes too much pain already. It's like a stabbing pain that twists your bones and muscles.
And then there's this very itchy and also painfully burning sensation on the lower middle part of my body. It gets like that when its moist with sweat or when I wear my long pants and I'm out of the house. And then the small boils on my upper legs on the inner sides. Thank God they're now under control through antibiotics. Why do I have to have these things?
And then this acne in my armpit that comes and goes. I don't know why I should have this. Sometimes all these pains attack at the same time, and you can just imagine how I walk and move my arms, Well, by God's grace I'm able to move about normally, not obvious that I have pains; I just bear them quietly, and just talk and complain to God. I know he listens and helps me out, somehow. I just don't know why I have to have these things, and they've been bothering me for years--well, at least the boils are new to me. And I wish God would do something about them fast, so I won't have the idea that he seems to be just standing there and watching. Nope, he's not helpless to help--nothing's impossible to him. He's awesome. But he seems to just watch there.
What do you think? I love my son so much, and if I see him suffering pain needlessly, and if I had the power to eliminate the pains, I'd do so immediately. And I mean immediately. More so if he keeps asking me and even begging me. I've been asking God, even begging him to get these things out of my life for years but he seems to be just standing there watching me. I know he has the power and I believe him with all my heart. But why like this? I would understand it if I had vices, if I smoked a lot and got drunk as a way of life. But none of these are true to my life. I exercise and take natural health supplements.
When I hate life and ask what kind of life is this, these things begin to magnify and I feel like a toy being played with, like a guinea pig being experimented on. I remember Job and his questions and complaints and wishes--how he didn't understand what was going on. It was all so cruel--just to prove to Satan that Job was faithful, Job had to undergo all those things. It was meaningless. Yeah, he later got double for what he lost, but losing your former loved ones isn't that easy to heal by having your new batch of loved ones. It's not like losing a teddy bear and now God gives you a new one and you forget completely the pains of losing your former teddy bear, no matter how bad-looking or problematic it was. And I know God knew that all too well. He knew that it wasn't like a scoop of ice cream falling on the floor, and all he had to do was give Job another scoop on his cone.
Oh, and yeah, by the way, I haven't told you about the super itchy skin allergies I have on my back. And then my palpitations caused by too much electricity in my heart. All my pains I always talk about to God, anywhere I am. I always talk to God wherever I am, whatever my situation--good or bad. Thank God that my palpitations are under control so that they now seldom happen, and if they happen it's only for some seconds or about 3 to 10 minutes. Me being rushed to the emergency room is now history. All praises to God. I thank him for all those blessings.
But why can't I have all my other pains remedied?...just like how most guys live normally, without a very painful acne in their armpit, no itchy back, no shoulder pains, no boils, no burning skin irritations?
No matter what, the Lord is worthy to be praised and adored. His wisdom is infinitely great and wonderful, always resulting to good, even to best things in life, to those who believe and follow him.
